Want to discover your passion? Live your passion? Follow your first thought.

Part one of this post is excerpted from Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg.

First thoughts have tremendous energy. It is the way the mind first flashes on something. The internal censor usually squelches them so we live in the realm of second and third thoughts, thoughts on thought, twice and three times removed from the direct connection of the first fresh flash. For instance, the phrase “I cut the daisy from my throat” shot through my mind. Now my second thought, carefully tutored in 1 + 1 = 2 logic, in politeness, fear and embarrassment at the natural, would say, “That’s ridiculous.  You sound suicidal. Don’t show yourself cutting your throat. Someone will think you are crazy.” And instead, if we give the censor its way, we write, “My throat was a little sore, so I didn’t say anything.” Proper and boring.

First thoughts are also unencumbered by ego, by that mechanism in us that tries to be in control, tries to prove the world is permanent and solid, enduring and logical. The world is not permanent, is every-changing and full of human suffering. So if you express something egoless, it is also full of energy because it is expressing the truth of the way things are. You are not carrying the burden of ego in your expression, but are riding for moments the waves of human consciousness …

Why else are first thoughts so energizing? Because they have to do with freshness and inspiration. Inspiration means “breathing in.” Breathing in God. You actually become larger than yourself, and first thoughts are present. They are not a cover-up of what is actually happening or being felt. The present is imbued with tremendous energy. It is what is. My friend who is a Buddhist said once after coming out of a meditation retreat, “The colors were so much more vibrant afterward.” Her meditation teacher said, “When you are present, the world is truly alive.”

Want to discover your passion? Live your passion? Follow your first thought.

When I first conceived of FemCentral, I had a lot of trouble figuring out how I was going to make it work. I wanted it to be a business (I had just been laid off) and right from the start, tried to figure out how to bring in an income with it. After I read Gary Vaynerchuk’s book Crush It!, and his advice to establish a web presence first, and let the monetization evolve naturally, I stopped worrying about the money. Without that “censor,” the framework for this site fell into place almost immediately. It seemed so simple that I couldn’t understand why I didn’t see it before. But, censors and second and third thoughts can do that.

A friend called me last week. She was having trouble starting her dissertation. She had done all the research, made an outline, knew what she wanted to say. But, she couldn’t get the first word down on paper. Upon talking to her, I found out that many people had been giving her advice about “how” to write.  She was trying to fit her words into their advice before they even made it onto the page! I told her to stop editing. To write what comes. She can always edit and change and polish later. What’s important now is to express the freshness and inspiration. (She checked back in with me a few days later, and the words are now flowing!)

Are your first thoughts so covered with second and third (and fourth and fifth) thoughts that you don’t even recognize them? When someone asks you about your passion, do you stare with a blank look? Have a sense of panic that maybe you don’t have one? I promise you that all of us do!

As a first step, use Writing Down the Bones’ suggested method for getting back in touch with your essence.

Set a timer for 15 minutes. On a piece of paper, write, “What is my passion?” Start writing. (Do this BY HAND!)

1. Keep your hand moving. (Don’t pause to reread the line you have just written. That’s stalling and trying to get control of what you’re saying.)
2. Don’t cross out. (That is editing as you write. Even if you write something you didn’t mean to write, leave it.)
3. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, grammar. (Don’t even care about staying within the margins and lines on the page.)
4. Lose control.
5. Don’t think. Don’t get logical.
6. Go for the jugular. (If something comes up in your writing that is scary or naked, dive right into it. It probably has lots of energy.)

Ready. Set. Go! (And feel free to share any discoveries below!)