Be One of the Team, Not One of the Boys

We are focusing on the dynamics of interpersonal relationships this week, and today is Labor Day in the US. So, I’m resurrecting this post from deep in the FemCentral  archives. It was originally posted on January 26, 2010, barely into the second week of FemCentral’s existence.

Today’s resource What Men Don’t Tell Women about Business: Opening up the Heavily Guarded Alpha Male Playbook by Christopher V. Flett,  should be enlightening (and probably, infuriating) for anyone working in a predominantly male environment.  In this excerpt from the book, Flett gives an example of a woman arriving late to a meeting.  She apologizes and provides an explanation.  Flett then describes the reactions of the women and men in the room.  The women understand; the men are thinking things like, “pathetic” and “I don’t care.”  Flett proceeds to explain the source of the different reactions, and while he applauds women for their superior communication skills, he says that in order to succeed in business, women need to, basically, “act like a man.” No excuses allowed.

For decades now, women have worked their way into management positions by “acting like a man.”  They had to do it out of necessity. (But, they had to be careful about it; if they acted too much “like a man,” they’d be labeled a “bitch.”) Isn’t it time we recognize, that there is significant value in a woman’s natural strengths?  A study conducted at the University of Toronto a few years ago, found that women were more collaborative in work teams.  When a team was predominantly male, it maintained a strict hierarchal structure.  When it was predominantly female, the team was more egalitarian.  Furthermore, the more egalitarian teams produced more creative work.

Certainly, there are times when an “alpha male” approach is needed but there are also times when open communication and collaboration would be the best. I did a little research on what makes an effective team.  I found things like

1 – using the differential knowledge of the team members

2 – enabling diversity of opinion and approach

3 – avoiding group think

(source: Associated Content)

In other words, a woman’s communication skills are an asset to teams, no matter how many men think they are “pathetic” (to quote Flett). It’s time to acknowledge, utilize and value the unique strengths of everyone in the workplace, both male and female. Having worked in predominately male environments before, I know this is all easier said than done.  For some, you have no choice but to “act like a man” to survive in your job.  But, we need to take a first step and at least recognize that the workplace could be so much more productive and creative if women are applauded for ACTING LIKE THEMSELVES.  As Joanne Lipman said in her New York Times Op Ed piece, “don’t be afraid to be a girl.”