Going uncomfortably deep

I recently purchased Publish Your Nonfiction Book: Strategies for Learning the Industry, Selling Your Book and Building a Successful Career (Writer’s Digest Books) at my local Borders’ “going out of business” sale (yeah, there’s all kinds of irony in that).  One of the most essential elements of a book proposal is the “comp list,” where you compare your proposed book to books that have already been published. You want three to six books that are extremely similar to yours, and that have already sold very well.  Agents will want proof (best-seller lists and number of copies sold). Once you’ve established that you have an idea that is a proven “money maker,” you must then take the next step of showing how your book is different. “The common theme for all commercial nonfiction is that your book is similar to others in ways that have proven successful, but it is also uniquely yours by virtue of your valuable perspective.”

A couple of week ago, I was hanging out in the sidewalk seating of a local pub, doing some writing. It was a nice day, and the sidewalk was packed. People were chatting with each other, and an older man (ok, 15 years older than me) asked me what I was working on. I told him about FemCentral and gave him a FemCentral bookmark. The bookmark has the header (above) on one side, and “Embracing the feminine within, to improve the lives of women without” on the other.

He started to turn red. He asked me why everything has to be about women, or minorities, or some other “subset” of society. Why, he asked, couldn’t everything simply be for everyone. He informed me that I was limiting myself, that even women wouldn’t like what I was doing, and it seemed like I was coming straight out of the 1960s. I was actually quite amused by his tirade (dispassionate observer of human nature that I am) but did try to explain my concept. He wasn’t interested in listening, and actually drove away on a motorcycle! (Someone told me the only way it could have been more dramatic would be if he’d ridden off on a horse, shooting a gun.)

Since reading the publishing book and having that interaction, I’ve been thinking a great deal about the role of FemCentral. How is it like other websites dedicated to women? How is it unique? Why is it important to have a website dedicated specifically to the feminine?

On International Women’s Day, I described my experience of “celebrating” that day while studying in the Soviet Union. The Soviets had declared the “women’s issue” to be solved. So, it wasn’t addressed. What that meant was that women had no recourse for addressing the very real discrimination they faced every day. Officially, everyone was equal. End of story. I encountered men, when I was in the Soviet Union, who would refuse to even speak to me because I was a woman. They would carry on a conversation with me by talking to one of my male friends.

In yesterday’s post, I quoted Ariel Levy who wrote, “There is a widespread assumption that simply because [we have] good fortune to live in a world touched by the feminist movement, that means everything we do is magically imbued with its agenda. It doesn’t work that way.”

Many of the websites and programs dedicated to women’s empowerment focus on sex in one way or another. They use a stiletto as their symbol. Or, they teach sexual liberation through pole or other erotic dance. As you can probably tell from Monday’s post on “high heels as slavery” and Tuesday’s post on “’raunchy’ and ‘liberated’ not being synonyms,” I am bothered by this. However, I am not here to tell people they have to embrace their femininity in one specific way. What I’ve realized is that the role I want to serve, through FemCentral, is to make us aware of the choices we are making. Of the associations that we possess. Of subconscious thought patterns. Of the things we’ve ignored, pretending they are really “ok.” Of our shadow. I don’t want to judge our shadows or their associations. I want us to love our “dark side”, the moon, the Yin, the feminine. But, in order to do that, we must first acknowledge it exists!

So, how does FemCentral compare? I have a website dedicated to the feminine, like many other popular sites on the web. My unique perspective, though, is to delve deep into the assumptions of society and of our own automated lives. I do this not to disagree (although, I will do that, too, at times) but to make us more aware. I will do my best to help both you, and myself, to “lay bare the contradictions and evasions and self-deceptions that pass for empowerment.” And, I endeavor to provide resources that enable us to embrace and love the power of our true feminine spirit.

Recently, in an online networking group, I was asked to share what I love to do. I surprised myself when I wrote, “Writing, reading, researching; writing about what I’ve read and researched; making people just uncomfortable enough to give them a new perspective.” There you have it. If you’re slightly uncomfortable, I’m on track.