First, let’s clear up some myths. The G-spot is not a magic button inside a woman’s vagina that, when pressed, will immediately result in a million simultaneous gushing orgasms. It take a little more work than that. Many women, not finding their G-spots, began to doubt its very existence, considering it some kind of legend or even just wishful thinking. Well, it does exist, but it takes work to find it, and it has be stimulated differently than a clitoris would be.
Recent studies indicate that all women have a G-spot, but they respond differently. Some women don’t like G-spot stimulation at all, others find it positively mind-bending.
Here’s how to find your G-spot:
- To begin with, ladies, you need to be relaxed and preferably already aroused a bit. The G-spot becomes findable (i.e., the urethral sponge swells) when you are already turned on. So take your time and get warmed up. Masturbate, think dirty thoughts, have your partner tease you a while, play with your favorite vibrator!
- To find it yourself, squat a bit and insert your fingers. Then, hook them forward as if you were trying to touch your belly button from the inside. (This might be a little hard on your wrist.) You may use a curved dildo or vibrator this way—again, attempting to touch your belly button from the inside. A partner could do it for you—have him or her insert a couple of fingers and crook them back toward him- or herself as if saying “come hither. The G-spot is on the front wall of the vagina. It’s not next to the cervix or way up your cooch. It’s about an inch or two just inside, on that front wall. Some describe it as being directly behind the clitoris.
- Some say that the only way to identify the G-spot is by its texture—it might feel slightly rougher than the surrounding tissue. It ranges in size from about the size of an almond to a quarter to a gold dollar coin; it varies by each woman.
- The G-spot prefers a different kind of stimulation than the clitoris does. Many G-spots prefer merely a sort of pressure on them, instead of a tickling vibration or teasing motion. Some like to be stroked firmly, others might prefer a steady vibration. Experiment to see what you like, just don’t assume standard clit play will do the trick here!
- Some women don’t feel much with G-spot stimulation, or don’t enjoy it. If you don’t like it, then don’t do anything with it. Others find that it makes a sensational intense feeling and incredible orgasm. In fact, one of the consistently effective ways to have a mind-blowing orgasm involves triple stimulation: clitoris, G-spot, and some anal stimulation as well.
- Of course, one can use toys during masturbation and partner play to hit the G-spot. Fingers are also good! Some women find that certain positions during intercourse actually hit their G-spots quite effectively (it’ll take some experimentation to find if this works for you!). Remember, though, all orgasms stem from the clitoris, so don’t abandon it in the quest for the G-spot!
- Often when women have a G-spot-involved orgasm, as it approaches they feel as if they have to “bear down” (and actually do so) on whatever is in their vagina. This is normal and can help make the orgasm far more intense. This can also be when a woman ejaculates, if she does so. If you’re worried about making an ejaculation mess, put a towel down first!
About 40 percent of women who have G-spot-involved orgasms do have ejaculation (although that statistic varies wildly). The ejaculate is a clear fluid, sometimes smelling like clover; it is not urine. It’s not even stored in the bladder.
Physicians used to believe that women’s ejaculate was urine from a leaky bladder. That’s been disproved now. According to the most excellent Good Vibrations Guide to Sex (3rd ed.), “With continuous stimulation of the urethral sponge [now better known as the G-spot], the paraurethral glands fill up with a clear, odorless fluid. This fluid can seep, flow, or spurt out of the urethra during ejaculation.” The urethra itself (“pee hole”) is loaded with nerve endings and sometimes (depending on the woman) likes to be stimulated. The urethra is surrounded by spongy tissue, the urethral sponge (popularly known as the G-spot) that contains glands that produce this fluid.
Female ejaculation can take lots of forms, from just feeling “juicier” than normal to “gushing” or “squirting.” It is a normal occurrence, but it is just as normal not to have any sort of ejaculation. It doesn’t mean you’re having more fun if you ejaculate.
Laura Robertson is the pseudonym of a Southern lady who once had a most interesting career selling sex toys at home parties (which she was very good at!). By connecting with customers and answering questions, she became a self-taught sex educator. She enjoys sharing sex-positive information with women and couples as a way of enriching intimate relationships.
Note from Jennifer: If you just can get enough of this topic, check out these two articles from my favorite OB/GYN, Dr. Lissa Rankin: