Body image and weight loss surgery

Today’s guest blogger, Linda Eaves, is known as the Social Media Fairy Godmother. She loves recommending cool stuff and connecting people with what they need. Recently a dear friend put a name to what Linda likes to do - publicist. Upon hearing this word she had one of those AHA moments and could swear she heard angel song. So she claimed and embraced herself as the PR and social media geek that she is.

Linda had weight loss surgery in March 2009. She’s still a foodie since they only altered her stomach, not her taste buds. Balancing love of food with reality of a lemon-sized tummy is her adventure. (Check out more of Linda’s story, thoughts and advice at LindaEaves.com)

Everyone has their thoughts around their own bodies – that’s for sure! I’ve always dieted and been hyper-focused on my weight. One of my earliest memories of bonding with my mom when I was nine or ten was a conversation about what diet we were going to do next. My body image message was always about how I was not OK and needed to be “fixed.” If I would simply apply myself with will power, following my diet plan to the letter, the weight would be gone and I’d be “normal.” Over the course of my life I’ve lost 25, 50, even 80 pounds, doing various diets.  I always gained it back, plus more.

As a result of all the yo-yo dieting, in December 2008 I had over 184 pounds of excess weight. It was overwhelming. My joints hurt; it was an effort to move, so I stopped moving. I began to stay home and not do the things I used to love to do. Depression was setting in. About 11 months ago, I underwent gastric bypass surgery. It was a very personal decision and not for everyone, but it was the right one for me. What really has made a difference this time was that along with the surgery piece of it, I observed what thoughts were coming up in my head about my body. There was perfectionism, either/or thinking, and a huge lack of compassion for myself. I treated myself like crap. Would I treat a good friend this way? Hell no. So I decided I had to be nice to me. I gave myself a break, remembered to have fun daily and made sure to plan lots of time for goofing around. Humor is key when making a change like this. The mind chatter and “I suck” thoughts will always be there – like a small child tugging at my coat. But I can choose whether or not to listen to that. When those thoughts start coming I choose to say, “Yes. Thank you for sharing”; then, I keep on going. The focus now is on what choices are going to work for me and my body at that moment.

The biggest helpful change for me has been to unplug from the TV and also to watch what kind of magazines or e-mail newsletters come through my inbox. This keeps my mind clear of the “I suck” thoughts I tend to get. If I find myself going to a website or reading an article that leaves me feeling less than, really tired, or even like I’ve been slimed on – chances are I’m comparing myself to an unrealistic image or public figure.   What counts and keeps me grounded are my thoughts about my body – that’s the real truth. This has been huge and has given me peace and peace of mind like nobody’s business.

In addition to putting myself on an information “diet”, I make sure to include some type of body work in my day. By that I mean a wide range of activities like taking a dance class, massage, Reiki, yoga, or going to a women’s spa. Those are just a few ideas. Getting out into the world and making connections has made me realize that everyone has doubts, fear, and discomfort about their own body from time to time.

Doing activities like this helps me remember that there are all types of bodies out there – not just the airbrushed perfection in the magazines and on the web.  Also it reminds me to celebrate and honor my own uniqueness and has helped me to make peace with my body. I used to just think of myself from the neck up. I ignored, actually hated the rest of me. I didn’t like myself. But I had to shift my thinking – I was getting bored with my complaining, and am sure others were sick of the way I was talking and simply tuned out.

Celebrating yourself right now, in this moment – not when you lose ten pounds or can fit into those high school jeans again – will do a lot for your frame of mind and get you on your way to having a positive body image.

~ Linda Eaves